03/30/06 - Up your butt and around the corner
I arrived at Tokyo's Narita airport for the sixth time and knew that my airport driver's wind-shield whipers breaking/five minute repair had happened for a reason. I wore an all red 2xl Rocawear Tokyo warm-up set, a matching fitted cap and each article of clothing still had it's price-tags dangling lazily (a perfect compliment to my silly grin.) I then, after I had bought two beers at the kiosk in the airport's train station, got on the train to Tokyo and within three stops it was packed full of people. After a few hours of flirting and sparking curiosities I got off the train at Ueno, left the station, walked two minutes to the JR train station, took the Yamanote line to Shinagawa, got off the train, found a phone in the station, called my bitch to make sure she was meeting me at 9:00pm at Hachiko, left the station for the train again, I then arrived at Shibuya, bought two more beers, chugged them, left the station, arrived at Hachiko and it felt like I had just walked into a wind tunnel. I had never been to Tokyo in the Spring and if it didn't feel so right this year for me to go at this exact time I probably would have never experienced it. My price-tags flailed themselves against my outfit and I figured that the smartest thing for me to do now would be not to find any sort of shelter and instead leave Hachiko, buy more beer, go back to Hachiko and get fucked up. As I walked to Dogenzaka towards my favorite convenience store for beer I watched as people crouched and tried to evade the wind which seemed to be coming from all directions, I arrived at the convenience store, bought a ton of tall cans, left the store and returned to being surrounded by television monitors with thoughts of 'did I really just film David Duchovny at a hair salon?' and Red Shoe Diaries.
With more beer than I needed and positioned in a perfect spot (to my right was the station's entrance, to my left was the famous waiting area, behind me was a clock and in front of me were floods of people who would eventually turn to either the left or right of me leaving me with a surrounding space with no one else in it besides me,) I had once again became the center of attention. Everyone seemed to have either been watching me, stopped to watch or they had been starring at me the whole time they had walked towards the train station on my right and I was loving every second of it. As 9:00pm approached I had stumbled off to find a restroom, I eventually found my way back to Hachiko, strolled into the famous waiting area and was greeted by Akiba Yuki. She then asked where I wanted to go and I said TGIfridays, then a lovehotel and she smiled. We arrived at TGIfridays, I felt like I could only stomach beer so that's what I drank, drank some more, drank even more and about an hour and a half into drinking I think she realized how drunk I was getting because I remember her moving my beer out of my sitting reach and she told me that she wanted to go to a lovehotel and do anal instead of us drinking all night at TGIfridays in Shibuya. She also suggested that we could go to a convenience store before the hotel to buy a bunch of drinks and snacks and that sounded good to me! She then asked for the restaurant's bill which was around sixty dollars, she paid for it all and we left towards Dogenzaka to go and find a love hotel. Once arriving in Dogenzaka (which has really changed over the years,) we went into a convenience store, she picked out two tall cans of beer for me, I gave her a bottle of Pocari Sweat, she picked out two cold green tea drinks and a bottled water for herself, we both then picked out snacks, she picked out some kind of chips and I gave her this box of melt in your mouth heart-shaped caramel candies with some lame jogger cartoon on the front of the box (that for some reason bitches always buy for me so like I eat them all the time now,) we then approached the cashier and she paid for all of this shit too.
After my bitch purchased our midnight fuel we set foot towards the love hotels in Dogenzaka. As we came closer, arriving in the night club part of the district I noticed three kids in their late teens/early twenties watching my girl and I approach the alley's opening to where all the clubs started. There were two guys, a girl and they were all foreigners. The youth reminded me of an earlier me, as we approached them I had flashbacks of times that I had spent as a kid in Dogenzaka, flashbacks until I had taken my second or third step past them with my bitch. "It's not him." I heard one tell the group. "Yes it is! Who else comes here with a skateboard?!" The other said defensively. At that point I had turned around while walking backwards to keep up with my girl who was as anxious as ever and as I had figured the three of them had turned to watch me pass. With that I lifted up my skateboard in my right hand and with my left hand I waved. "See I told you it was him!" The guy said to the group. After hearing that I turned back around and my girl asked if I knew who those people were, I shook my head, smiled and in order to avoid any conversation about how great I/my website am/is I pointed to the first love hotel that stood out, we went inside, picked one of the rooms, it was 10,000yen, (about a hundred dollars,) she set down the bags, paid for it, I reached in my left pocket, pulled out 5,000yen, offered it to her, she refused to take it and I stopped to kind of scratch my head in disbelief. She then signaled me over to the hotel's elevator, I approached her, she gave me the room key and I wondered what the occasion was, could me sliding my lubed up and slippery dick in her ass really be worth the nearly two hundred dollars she had so far spent on me? We arrived on the proper floor, found our room, opened the door, it was huge and it had a Sega Saturn built into the entertainment center which I hadn't seen for I don't know how long. I could hear my bitch putting the bags down while I began unwinding a controller so that I could start playing, I then heard my name called out softly and as I turned to look I saw my bitch's Japanese ass up in the air with her chest and hands against the mattress. She had this expression on her face like my dick was already in her butt, you know what I mean? Like her eyes were kind of closed and her mouth formed an expression like she was eating Halloween candy in the summer time. So after seeing that I set down the Sega Saturn controller that was in my hand, I figured after an hour or two of anal I could load that sucker up and see what kind of games the hotel offered, I took off my backpack, opened it up, took out my video camera that had been above everything for quick access, I then took out a disposable camera, lube and a handful of Crown brand condoms (the best condoms for anal sex, their motto is "Skin less skin.") I then chucked everything except for my video-camera onto the huge bed, I got onto it myself and then started filming her beautiful body. She began to undress and not slowly at all so I got off the bed, threw off my clothes, got back on to the bed, then I started jerking off left-handedly while I filmed with my video camera in my right hand so that I could catch up to her piece of heaven and after she had taken her pants totally off and her Japanese asshole was being arched towards the ceiling being covered only by her panties I put down my video camera and opened the brand new container of KY liquid. I then put the lube down, opened up three of the Crown silvery packages which I did only because after you get lube all over your hands it makes opening up the Crown brand condom packages next to impossible. After that I picked my video camera back up, started filming again, she removed her panties and there in front of me was one of the reasons why a $660 plane ticket to Japan was worth every penny. I took out one of the condoms from it's opened package and rolled it down my dick. I grabbed my container of KY liquid and began to lube up everything in sight, especially her Japanese ass because what had it been? Like four months? And as I slid slowly into it I knew for a fact no other person had been in it since November 2005. Well I don't know if it was because I wanted to play Sega Saturn or what but thirty minutes or so later I came and not only did I cum but it was like the most cum I had ever released after any fuck in Japan. It felt great and the fact that I had filmed it all made it even greater. After we cleaned up we drank our drinks and snacked while watching the different half-ass (literally,) Japanese porn together. It was so relaxing, I felt so complete and it made me wonder why the rest of the world doesn't fly to Japan and do the same thing as me.
So that was the first night of my Spring 2006 promo, nothing that hadn't really happened before had happened except for filming David Duchovny and having a love hotel with a Sega Saturn, I was kind of hoping for this type of trip and I honestly believed that nothing else was going to happen, just the usual sex with Japanese girls, skateboarding and drinking.
The three days that followed were a dream come true, each one it's own story and the next thing I knew it was Monday (the day before I'd have to go back to America.) As I sat at TGIfridays in Machida overlooking a huge plate of babyback ribs, shrimp, onion rings, motzerella sticks and drinks I began to reflect on everything that had happened. My thoughts became interrupted when my bitch began to tell me how she wanted me to fly back to Japan in two months to meet her mom and while surprised (since she had never brought anything like that up before,) I wondered how that would turn out. Just then I looked over at her, she was counting money and not just like one hundred dollars or anything, she easily had over three thousand dollars in mixed yen notes. As she continued to count her money I asked her why she had so much money and I wanted to know why she had spent over a thousand dollars on me in six days and her response caught me completely off guard. She looked up from her money, turned to me and told me that she had become a hostess, that she had also been modeling lately for different magazines and that both jobs have been paying her an obscene amount of money.
I sat there thinking to myself. Had I ruined her? Had all the years of me filming her ass given her the idea of making money from showing off her body? And now as a hostess? Someone is going to recognize her from my website and fuck with her. What had I done? Well I knew what I should do, I shouldn't meet her mother that's for sure and tonight (Monday night,) will be the last time we fuck. She smiled and asked if I minded her spending so much money on me. I shook my head and told her it was alright. I wasn't angry at all, far from jealous too, for me to be jealous of people getting to see her body would be ridiculous given the fact that I've posted her body online so that other people can see and appreciate it. After she paid for my dinner we walked around the station to Denny's restaurant for dessert. I ordered a dish that had three miniature pancakes with caramel and ice cream on them and she got one topped off with strawberries. After she paid for dessert we went to the love hotel district of Machida, found one that had just opened at 10pm and it was a hotel on such a high demand that we were given a number. We then had to wait in a lounge setting with about six other couples until our number was called and once it had been called we were given the choice of one suite, we picked it, got our key and a keycard (keycard so that we'd pay for the room in our room rather than at the front desk,) we then took an elevator up to the floor it was on, got to our room, opened the door and it was beautiful. I was surprised to see a Nintendo Game Cube system in it aswell but I really wasn't in the mood for any video games.
So there we were, in my mind there wouldn't be any other time with her after this and I'm sure that in her mind she couldn't wait for me to meet her mother. I got on the bed, turned my hat around and then layed on my back. Soon after I felt my girl make her way to my left side and she began to nuzzle up against me as if wanting to be held. I didn't pay any attention to her and continued to not pay attention to her until that is, she said she wanted to have a baby with me. I then turned to my left and kissed her favorite spot to be kissed while I began to wonder where the producers were hiding during the making of this film. Where were the cameras hiding? Things were getting too unreal. Several hours after her telling me she wanted to have a baby with me I had found myself in between her legs, both of us were nude, no cameras were currently in hand and my condoms were still in my backpack.
The next day I arrived at Narita's airport and began chugging steins of Asahi at the Big Boy restaurant while struggling to keep the last remaining bit of sanity in my head. After two hours of doing that (drinking,) I made my way through security, found my gate, I had time before my flight was boarding and so I decided to go check out the magazine/book kiosk which was further down from my gate. Once I arrived I was (like most times,) drawn to the Japanese skateboarding magazines, I then saw that Warp Magazine had Snoop Dogg and Pharrel Williams on the cover, so I picked it up, opened it up to it's center pages and there she was, my girl of yesterday posing nude. I couldn't believe it. Why? Why did I have to see this? Why did I have to experience this? Why me? Next to the magazine shop was a cafe that had steins of Kirin ichiban beer and needless to say I drank until I couldn't see anymore. I somehow remembered to get on the airplane and I then recall passing out in my seat before the flight had even took off. When I woke up the electronic map built into the seat in front of me showed that we had been flying for about an hour, I then rubbed my eyes, looked down at my lap which I could feel had something on it and there in a plastic bag was every single copy of the Warp Magazine that they had set out for sale. I had bought them all.
11/08/06 - Blessing in disguise
An entire world, our world, was shifting because of me or at least it felt like it. As I continued to
breathe the air outside of a Japanese convenience store in Harajuku, I stood
at the epicenter of my next story. At this point in my life I had been dying
for twenty-four years, social acclimation seemed troubling so I wore
sunglasses during the night time and with every tinted blink of my eyes I
thought about how much money I'd pay for history to give me seconds of my life back. While waiting for my bodyguard to arrive (before we'd be
making our way to Shibuya by foot,) a Japanese kid around my age approached
me and began asking questions as to who I was, why I was in Japan and little
did I know, with each carefree response I continued to make I was shaping an event. I removed my
white and grey Gravis backpack, opened it, took out an all white
Ghettocities Clothing flexfit hat, a bunch of stickers, my new mixtape and
gave the items to the person who had approached me. Moments later he asked
if I could wait a moment, I nodded, he took out his cellphone, began calling
several people and with each phone call he inquired about the person on the
other line's location, he then would ask for them to meet up with him and
after he asked about
the fourth or fifth person he asked if I could meet everyone he had been
talking to on his cellphone. He didn't pose a threat, so I gave him (and whichever of his friends,)
permission to show up at Shibuya's hachiko at 9:00PM (21:00) which was in
about an hour and there they could all meet me while I was doing my
scheduled PR (public relations) work. The moment I finished speaking he was
back on his cellphone calling up people asking for them to go to Shibuya's
Hachiko statue so that they could all meet me at nine o'clock, after making
his fifth phone call or so I asked to use his cellphone, I then called my
bodyguard who said he'd be running about 15 minutes late, I told him it was
no problem, hung up the phone, gave the phone back to the Japanese kid who
then thanked me greatly, put on his new Ghettocities Clothing hat, thanked
me again and took off towards Harajuku's train station which was across
the street.
After my bodyguard arrived, we made our way to Shibuya's Hachiko after two
stops for beer (one being in Shibuya,) and it was there I met several
people, one in which I had met in 2001 back when Ghettocities was just three
photographs of me standing alone with my skateboard. One of my viewer's that
I had received e-mail from asking for advice had brought a friend that I had
never met, I also met a rapper who had somehow obtained one of my
promotional rap CDs and he had brought a friend too. Then on top of that the
Japanese kid that I had met in Harajuku was there, he was now in a new
outfit but still wearing the Ghettocities all white flexfit hat with the
tags still on it and with him he brought four or five Japanese skateboarders
which (with all the skateboard activity,) made the area surrounding Hachiko
look like a skatepark. After promotion, talk, the Japanese kid buying yet
another bag full of beer for me and filming, we all made our way up the
street to the Starbucks where my bodyguard said "a Japanese girl that you
should film" was waiting there. When we arrived at Starbucks I, filming, started
losing my mind over there being too much to film. Nothing seemed real,
like everyone's character was a different and equally entertaining movie
script. I tried my best to make it all fit into the big picture. An hour or so
passed, the rappers and the viewer who had sent me e-mails asking for advice
had to catch the last train, they left and moments later the Japanese kid
told me that one of his friends was skating to go get his car (parked in
Shibuya) and that we all should go party and I knew, actually my bodyguard
convinced me, that me leaving with everyone was what was needing to be done.
About ten minutes later this huge car rolls up, right? Everyone started piling
in, I then got the passenger's seat up front and while the Japanese kid in the back of the car was screaming "Yeah Josh! Yeah Josh!
Yeah Josh!" we took off to our next destination, really really fucking fast.
Now the driver of the car had been looking a tad bit drunk but here we all
were in this monster of an automobile, so large it didn't feel suitable for
Japanese streets at all and while we sped past all speed limits to wherever
it was we were going I continued to film and think about how if we got in an
accident we'd just run whatever car it was that hit us over. About, I want
to say, fifteen minutes later we arrived at this like three story house? I
guess it was the Japanese kid's friend's house, he owned the entire thing
but it was crazy like it had it's own elevator inside the house, you know
what i'm saying? Like you didn't walk up the next floor on some staircase,
you took an elevator that was literally inside the house. Once we got up to
the top floor he showed us the rooftop, his dog that weighed more than I did
and then we all went back into the house, went to a floor that had a series
of rooms, he opened the door to one of them and inside of it was a TV,
laptop with songs already going on it, skateboards on each of the walls and
last but not least, everything you could ever need for a house party.
So to make a long story short, we all got really fucked up, my bodyguard
lost all the integrity I had viewed him as having, after partying at this
house for a good hour or two we all went and got cabs, I had got in the
first one, the door closed, the Japanese kid from Harajuku pounded on the
window, the driver opened the door, everyone dragged me out by the arm, I
turned around, my bodyguard was in the cab, the door shut, it took off and I
realized they had done that to get rid of him because he was acting like a
fucking idiot during the party and once we left to go get cabs. On the taxi
the rest of us took to Shibuya I was so fucked up I saw the Tokyo tower
(when the Tokyo tower was like 30 minutes away from us,) and it was funny
because other people in the taxi were like "Yeah, there it is!" Or I could have just been hearing things.
Then we got to the Gas Panic at sentagai in Shibuya, everyone except me
waltzed in, the bouncer enjoyed carding me for some reason, once I got in I
got a screwdriver and like a typical gangsta found a table in the back of
the club, my posse joined me, I talked to my fan's friend about how
different Tokyo seems when you "are this fucked up." He agreed. I just
chilled, watched bitches, this one hoe was dancing with one of my peoples
that I had been watching and like I watched them dancing for a good ten
minutes, right? The whole time she was like ten steps away from me and she
never turned to look at me, right? All I could see was the kid dancing with
her, but then check this shit out, she turned around and it was like My Pet Monster! Shit was so fucking scary, but like I was so fucked up I didn't
yell or anything, you know, I should have been yelling, "Watch out!" or
something. I kind of just looked away but I swear to you, I saw the face of
a monster on that bitch. After that everyone was trying to get me to go to
another club but I told them about how I needed to skateboard all day
tomorrow (Thursday,) with someone, so I got up, exchanged handshakes,
knuckles and everyone left with some more promo. As I sat in Gas Panic alone
it was pretty dark and I still had my sunglasses on, you know what i'm
saying? I didn't want anyone to be able to see me but then sure enough, and
this shit was funny, like I'd just be looking out at the dance floor (if you
could even call it that,) and every ten minutes or so a different girl
would come up to the table I was at and kind of just lean against it,
waiting for me to talk to them but I'm a fucking pimp, you know what i'm
saying? I don't work my way up to the top only to work my way back down, you
know what I'm saying?
So seven hours later (yeah that's how tight my schedule was for this trip,
like promote to sleep to skate to .. you'll see,) I met up with Hideo
Sakuragi at Hachiko at 1pm. Hideo is not only one of the nicest people I've
ever met in my entire life, he reminds me a lot of myself, he is like the
Japanese-version of me, he has his own company and the only difference
between him and I is that he is thousand times better than me at
skateboarding. After we met in Shibuya we took several trains to
Sakuragi-cho, once we arrived in Sakuragi-cho we went to some of his old
stomping grounds and to his old job at the skateboard section of Murasaki
sports. After that we headed to my favorite spot in Sakuragi-cho, filmed,
then we went, ate Mcdonalds, he told me that there would be about twenty
skateboarders outside of the World Porters building after 8:00, so we played
S.K.A.T.E. outside there and we filmed his trick he calls the "Sakuragi
special" (which reminded me of watching old Japanese anime, like every
character always had a something something special technique and so I'd
laugh whenever we talked about it as the "Sakuragi special.") The "Sakuragi
special" is a switch inward 360 heelflip bigspin, I had asked for him to let
me film it on flat ground and after he landed it he was talking about how
funny it feels to not be doing it over a double set or a huge gap and I was
like, "Are you kidding me?" He was not kidding me! After skating we took a
few trains over to his house, once we got there he took out a binder filled
with all his magazine coverage and there were old Thrasher sequence photos
of him doing guess what? Switch inward 360 heelflip bigspins over gaps and
the magazine was dated 1993! I couldn't believe it. After looking at all his
old magazine photos his dad cooked us really good ramen for dinner, Hideo
then showed me his video collection, I had seen him in old 411 video
magazines but nothing really besides that and so the first video he took out
was his first video part in an old NC boardshop video (which had Gershon
Mosley, I think Frank Hirata and several other well known skateboarders,)
when Hideo's part came on it was the best skate footage I had ever seen in
my entire life. If that same footage was released by someone nowadays I
can't even imagine the price-tag companies would put on it and here Hideo
was, watching the same video that I was watching and he was so humble about
it all. Hideo loves skateboarding, he loves skateboarding so much he doesn't
care about money or who his sponsors are, he isn't anytime soon going to
take his old footage and put it out to the public and say, "Look at me, look
at me, look at me." You know what i'm saying? He just loves to skateboard.
I'm serious though, his old footage, 270 inward heelflip noseslide, like
switch double backside heelflip down a seven stair, it was the kind of
footage that when you watch it you say, "wait, no. Wait... no." you know?
And when we were watching his old video parts there would be like a trick
with a superimposed time on it or something and he'd laugh about it, rewind
it and say whatever 6 o'clock, when the trick was like some physically
impossible trick that I'll probably never see anyone else do in my lifetime,
it was amazing. After that we watched the new (he said it was released like
two weeks ago,) Expression Clothing DVD and that had to be one of the most
enjoyable skate videos I've ever watched. The editing is the best editing
I've ever seen in a skateboarding video (their editing is one hundred times
better than The Answer from West video and that video has really good
editing,) but yeah seriously like one of the greatest skate videos I've ever
seen too. So here I was, like let's catch up to me here, I had been in Tokyo
for a little over 30 hours and what had happened so far? Exactly. Welcome to
my life. After watching videos Hideo's family let me stay the night in one
of their guest rooms and I was able to get the good ten hours no
interruption sleep that I had been needing to prepare me for the next day,
Friday.
When I woke up I went over to see what Hideo was working on and he told me
that he was getting ready to go judge a contest in Saitama, we talked about
skating some more, then I went back to the guest room, charged my
video camera batteries, flipped through stacks of old Japanese skateboarding
magazines 99% of which I had never seen before, my batteries finished
charging, Hideo drove me to the nearest train station, I thanked him greatly
for everything, I then went into the station, got a ticket for Sakuragi-cho,
arrived at Sakuragi-cho, went into the main mall, got Mcdonalds, went
outside, sat out in the early evening, I ate my Mcdonalds while looking up
at the grey sky (which was like picture-perfect "Tokyo weather") , it
wasen't raining, it was a little cold but more warm than cold and there was
little wind if any. As I ate cheeseburgers some foreigner walked past me,
then past me again which I didn't pay too much attention to, I then saw a
flash go off from the side of me, turned around and the same foreigner was
at the top of a flight of stairs aiming his camera at my
surrounding area. I then took that as my que to leave for Shibuya.
After leaving the spot I had been eating at I bought beers in Sakuragi-cho, drank my way
to Shibuya, I got to Shibuya, threw my empty cans away, went to the same
convenience store I had gone to before in Dogenzaka, bought more beer, walked
over to Hachiko, stood around drinking and enjoying the life all around me,
then I realized my legs had been pretty worn out from skating all day
yesterday so I went and found a seat in front of Hachiko to continue my beer
binge. Sometime after finishing the second tall can of beer that I had
bought from the convenience store, while minding my own business in front of
the Hachiko statue, while I sat on one of the metal benches with sunglasses
on, an American (possibly Canadian) guy approached where I was sitting
drinking and asked, "Excuse me, are you Josh?" I looked up from my
skateboard on my lap that I had been looking at and then at him. Whenever
people ask this I always want to say, "No," because nobody knows the real
me, they just go on my website and think I'm like this kid who has really
rich parents that pay for him to go to Tokyo and fuck girls, they (my
viewers) don't even care to know about me and how I used to live in a
trashed as fuck two bedroom apartment (with layers of trash everywhere,
power going off every other week, nights of candles, water being shut off
every other month) with his mom and two brothers, you know what i'm saying?
But like always I said, "Yeah," to which he responded, "I knew it was you!"
followed by what was I just talking about, "So how many girls have you
fucked this trip?" I put on a fake smile and said, "Oh? Well, you'll see
when I update it I guess, (trying to change the subject) are you going to
the clubs tonight?" I said while wishing I had more than just sunglasses to
use to hide from the world. "I gotta go meet my boy, but we'll see." He said
while then proceeding to leave. "Hey how many years have you been going to
the site?" I turned and asked. "Three or four years now," he responded,
"Since you were first starting it." He continued. "Dang." I said from where
I continued sitting and he left. As I finished the third tall can of beer I
thought about how me wearing sunglasses probably just makes me look more
like me, if that makes any sense to you, like you know maybe in order for
people to know the real me I should instead of sunglasses carry around free
lunch tickets, get a good 40lbs of muscle sucked out of my legs and not wear
hats anymore. Like nobody even knows about how when I was a kid I was
attacked by a German sheppard that knocked me to the ground, bit my face and
clawed the left corner of my forehead to shreds while biting my face! You
want to know something weird though? Like I remember that, and not just
because I've seen photos of me before I got stitches, I remember that exact
day and I remember knowing that it was going to happen, you know, I remember
knowing that I'd get attacked by it and something was telling me that I
needed to be, like some voice in my mind was telling me that it needed to
happen and now look at me, wearing hats, but hey, I can't complain, thanks to Japan I'm not
poor anymore and funny stuff happens to me like when I was 19 during my
first trip to Tokyo, how I met Tom Green in the streets of Shibuya when he
was filming for MTV's Subway Monkey hour, or how I fucked a MTVJ producer
and my older brother didn't believe me, so I showed him her business card,
he memorized her e-mail, he then sent her an e-mail asking if anyone was at
that e-mail address and she wrote back with like two pages saying she was
telling everyone at MTV about me and that I should be their next VJ and then so my older brother showed the e-mail to my mom and then my mom and brothers took me to the Sizzler's in Albany and showed me
the printed out e-mail and told me that I needed to fly back so that I could
become a VJ, brush elbows with famous people and make money, but I told them "No." They then asked "Why?" I told them that it didn't feel right and they
thought I was crazy but really, it didn't feel right, the reason I said no was because the voice that told
me to be bit in the face and attacked by a German sheppard didn't tell me to
go to Tokyo and be a VJ and then (you have to understand that what happened next wouldn't have happened if I were a VJ,) in 2003 my inner voice told me to mail out my Japan skate footage to Jeremy Klein
and my mom and everyone told me that it was going to sit at the bottom of
some mail bag and then Jeremy called me one morning and then I met him, my
idol since the 90s, I used to look at people at my school's CCS catalogs, at all the
Hook-ups decks and wish I had enough money to buy one which was never going
to happen because if I had $75 that could have fed my family for like two
weeks atleast, and for me to go from not being able to buy a Hook-ups deck, to go from that to then being in the fucking Hook-ups skateboards warehouse with Jeremy and hearing him tell me I could
take whatever products I wanted, for free, you know what I'm saying?
I was mentally unstable at this point, I got up from where I had been
sitting, finished my beer, left my empty cans behind and walked up
Dogenzaka. The other Gas Panic bar had it's happy hour lights on so I went
inside, ordered a screwdriver, it was practically empty and so I went in the
far back and sat alone in the dark with my sunglasses on. At the bar were
two or three people talking to the bartenders, the girl waitresses were
walking around talking to each other and dancing, nobody wanted to talk to
me, nobody cared who I was and I started to feel better about living a life
that could easily be turned into the greatest movie of all time. As I
continued to sip my drink a waitress approached me and said "Hey happy hour
is almost over." In a really rude tone and I smiled. She then, with a
puzzled look on her face turned around and left me alone. After I finished
my drink I approached the bar, put a mixtape CD of my raps about having sex
with Japanese girls under the glass and left. Once I left there I went to
the TGIfridays in Shibuya, the interesting thing about going there was I was
alone, you know what I mean? So once I arrived I said I'd like to sit at the
bar in Japanese, I ordered their large beer, a mixed drink, the bartender
then asked me why I was in Japan, I told him because it had to happen, he
then said he recognized me, so I told him I wasn't famous or anybody he'd
know, he then asked me what my name was, I told him I wouldn't
tell him and he nodded. After TGIfridays I was feeling pretty fucked up,
which was great, as I left I laughed and hoped that whole "You can't see me
if I can't see you," theory worked as I made my way to Club Asia in
Dogenzaka. Once I got there I got another screwdriver, drank it, got another
one, I was getting tipsy, stumbling all over the place, after I began
spilling my drinks left and right I got more screwdrivers and found a spot
that I could sit and just look at all the girls like the pervert that I am.
So I'm sitting on this bench type of deal with something behind it that I
could lean back on in the lounge right? Looking at all the girls right? And
this Japanese kid with his fine ass girlfriend comes up to where I'm sitting, they sit down next to me, he hands me a Smirnoff and says, "Let's freestyle." And so I'm like,
thinking, what the fuck? All I had so far said in the fucking club was
screwdriver like ten times, you know what I'm saying? So I kind of was
offended by people thinking "Oh he can rap," or "Oh he can breakdance" just
because of the way I'm dressed. As I turned to tell them, "no," I noticed that the guy who had asked me to freestyle was wearing sunglasses too (in this dark ass club) so
then I was all thinking, is this supposed to happen or not? you know what I'm saying? And it felt like it needed to happen so I put down the Smirnoff he
had handed to me and started rapping with all my heart as loud as humanly
possible. Seriously, this shit, if someone would have had a tape recorder,
you know what I'm saying? I had been listening to the Roots: Come Alive CD
in order to train my vocals to scratch words during my freestyle like Rahzel
in that CD and I was fucking going crazy. I had enough of Tokyo, all this
shit, fucking meeting fans, fucking skateboarding, fucking people wanting me
to entertain them, you want me to fucking rap? I'll fucking rap and I'll
fucking make your fucking head explode fucking fuck fuck, so I took off like
, "I'm taking off when I'm drunk, NASA, bottle rockets, people want to wear
what I wear so I'm where? In people's lockets, cheap like pewter, I'll fuck
your bitch and you can download her on your computer." You know what I'm
saying? I was going off the hook and then doing the worm but my
obnoxiousness was cut short when this kid started fucking rapping back at me
like crazy, and I was like, what the fuck? we aren't on a stage, you know
what I'm saying, where does this kid get all his hype from but you know,
that shit didn't stop me, it was all back forth back forth. We eventually
settled on both of us being good rappers, him and his girlfriend asked me to
go to the dance floor, I shook my head. They left, about a half hour later
they both came back to where I was still sitting alone, the Japanese kid
looked over at a row of Japanese girls across from me and then at me and
said, "All those girls, if you tell them you want to take them to lovehotel
they will say OK and leave with you." I ignored him. He then shrugged, got
up, went to the bar, his girlfriend then moved over next to me and started
asking me questions which I ignored too, he eventually came back, she stood
up and he asked me to go on the main floor with both of them and I shook my
head. After finishing the last of the countless amounts drinks I had I left before the
rapper and his girlfriend could find me again. I then went out into the
streets, passed out and blacked out. I woke up, I didn't know what time it
was, a group of people were hanging out next to me, it felt like 6am or so,
nothing was wrong, I then eventually got to my hotel, it was Saturday
morning, took a really long hot bath, slept through lunch and dinner, woke
up at 4am, left the hotel, got food, went back, ate half the food, went back
to bed, woke up totally clear minded and for the first time since my PR work I felt like I wanted to be social.
I made my way to Harajuku, just to see what was up because there is usually
something going on there on a Sunday afternoon. It was the day before I was
flying back to America, every other person in Harajuku was a photographer and it seemed like every other photographer wanted to shoot my photo. After they shot my photo, two Japanese girl photographers asked if I
could go to the Tokyo dance music festival with them (which I haden't known about,)
that was taking place in Yoyogi park, I told them I wanted to skateboard, the girls nodded, thanked me for posing, I waved and they took off into the park. I skated for about an
hour, got some really good footage until some foreign skateboarder went over to the Japanese skateboarder who was filming me with my video camera and told him to stop filming me. Knowing something was up with that, I went to
the park, once I got to the festival entrance I walked past two foreigners
who saw me and as I passed them they said, "Excuse me, excuse me!" But I
kept walking until one of them, if you can believe this shit, grabbed the loop of my backpack and literally
pulled me back. I stopped and didn't make eye contact, they asked if they
could shoot my photo, I said "ok," but it seemed like they were filming a video
cause there was no flash and they were narrating some shit about me being a
rebel, after that they thanked me, I entered the free dance festival,
walked around scoping out the scene, I found an area manageable to stand
around and make observations but then get this, and I'm not lying, this shit
is my life right here, this is what I have to deal with, I was just standing
there minding my own business when three girls passed me looking at me, I
continued to just stand around and mind my own business, right? Then from
behind me I heard, "Excuse me, are you Josh?" It's always that same fucking
question, I think that's why I hate it, it's not "If it isn't the kobayashi
of kogyaru, in the flesh or should I say... in the burnt flesh? Nice tan!"
It's always, "Excuse me, are you josh?'and that's what this girl asked. I
turned around, told her, "yeah?" and noticed that her two friends had sort
of sent her to ask me. After she was told "yeah?" She signaled her friends over
and one of the three girls (not the girl that approached me mind you,) said she had seen my website before,
she then continued to tell me she had been on my myspace page too. After hearing that (that she had been on my myspace which doesn't have my website URL on it,) I was guessing she wanted a photo of her with me so I told the girl that said she had seen me before that her friends could
take a photo if she wanted of "you next to me." The photo was taken and I got
out of there as quick as possible and back to the safety of my hotel room.
The next day, Monday, I thought that was it, nothing in
store for me and thankfully too, five days was all I could handle. I made my
way to the Narita airport, got past security, I walked towards my gate, grabbed some food,
ate, thought everything that had happened had
happened for a reason and it made me realize that in my past it had taken
bad moments like being poor and starving as a kid growing up with no friends
in order for life to yield to better times and as I sat at the gate and
waited for my plane to start boarding I felt at peace with the world.
Watching people walk past, I saw a familiar face walk up and turn
into my waiting area. When I boarded the plane I looked up and three rows in front of me
I saw this same person's crooked Portland Trail Blazers hat from above the seat, a stewardess walked
towards me, I asked her, "Excuse me, can you do me a huge favor?" She
nodded, "Can you ask that guy in the Trail Blazers hat if he produces
music?" I asked while pointing to the back of the person. She smiled, walked
back to his row, asked him, she then returned and said, "Yes he does and he
says he knows who you are too."
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